What are these feelings?
by CuriousRuby
Summary: Kenny has decided that he won't celebrate Valentine's Day with anyone unless he has feelings for them. So, what will he do when Butters shows up at his door? *Bunny, Kenny POV, One-shot*


**Hello, everyone! If you haven't figured it out, I'm TexasCutie93! I've decided to change my name to CuriousRuby, because the other name is old and I don't like it anymore. :3**

**Disclaimer: South Park belongs to Matt & Trey and since I'm a female, I am neither of these guys.**

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"Kenny, have you seen my nice shoes?" I looked up at my younger sister before I motioned towards the kitchen, where she had previously left her formerly mentioned shoes. Karen smiled and said her thanks as she practically sprinted into the kitchen to grab her shoes and run back up the stairs to finish getting ready.

I couldn't decide if I was happy or depressed that my little sister had found a Valentine's date while I was stuck at home for the day. Even though many girls had asked me out for the special holiday, I had decided the year before that I wasn't going to spend Valentine's with someone I didn't have true feelings for.

Just thinking back to last year made me want to hit my head against the nearest wall. I had always been a flirtatious guy, so getting a date was easy. I had asked Heidi Turner to accompany me to dinner at a fancy restaurant that was normally way out of my budget. Heidi was a cheerleader and pretty cute, so I wanted to impress her and maybe get some action, so I saved up my money for that particular day. Unfortunately for me, Heidi was more gluttonous that I had imagined and she ended up eating more than I could afford. I had to use the credit card that my mom had given me for emergencies and I was still paying it off.

I took Heidi back to my house that night, which she complained about how the place smelled and how dirty it was the whole time. Not that that stopped her from sleeping with me and then leaving the next morning in a hurry, protesting that last night was a mistake. I declared at that time, that I would make sure to spend Valentine's Day with someone I actually cared for.

That's how I ended up sitting on the couch as I watched my sister and parents getting ready for their own romantic Valentine dates. I'm sure even Kevin had something special planned for his pregnant fiancé at their rundown trailer house.

"How do I look?" I was pulled from my thoughts as Karen stepped down the stairs in a gorgeous knee-length black dress. I almost teared up at how mature and grown up she looked.

"You look amazing," I answered her before I turned on my big brother demeanor. "I hope this boy who's taking you is respectful and can behave himself." Karen rolled her eyes, used to my ramblings about boys, and pulled out her phone.

"He's here!" She exclaimed, quickly looking out our busted front window. She waved at a car that was parked in our front lawn.

"He's not going to come in and greet us?" I asked, not liking the boy instantly.

"He does, but I'm not letting him. I figured I should wait a few more dates before I introduce him to our family." Even though I wanted to argue, I could only agree with her. Our family didn't give off great first impressions.

I reluctantly let Karen leave, telling her to come home at midnight and to call me if something came up.

Soon after she left, I could hear my parents rushing down the stairs. "I told ya, Carol, we ain't goin' to no Red Lobster! We're goin' to Olive Garden, so we can get your damn discount," my father yelled as he tried to fix his tie that he was obviously frustrated with. I was surprised he even owned a suit.

"Why would I want to eat out at the place I work at?" my mother yelled back before she turned to me. "Are you sure you're okay with staying here, Kenny?" I nodded my head for the billionth time that she had asked that question. I knew she was worried, because it was the first Valentine's that I didn't want to go out. My dad, on the other hand, didn't give two shits about what I did.

"The damn boy says he's fine, so would ya stop askin' him?" They continued to argue as they left the house, their voices still echoing from the driveway about what movie to watch later on.

I sighed as I relinquished in the silence that took over after everyone left. I looked at the clock and saw that it was only five in the afternoon. I knew I was going to be hungry soon, so I quickly started to get out cooking utensils to start up my own Valentine's dinner. Regrettably, I wasn't a master chef and could only handle making spaghetti. I was damn proud of my spaghetti, though.

After an hour in the kitchen, I deemed my spaghetti done and started to get down a plate from an overhead cupboard. I was about to pile my plate up, when I heard a knocking on the front door. I glanced at my phone, making sure Karen hadn't contacted me to tell me she was coming home early. When I saw I had no messages, I walked towards the door and peered out the peephole.

I could only see puffy blonde hair in the peripheral and was perplexed as to who it belonged to. I wasn't planning for anyone to come by. I looked down at my outfit that consisted of ripped blue jeans and a stretched out t-shirt. Not too concerned about my appearance, I opened the door, anyways.

I saw an anxious looking boy, who was looking down and rubbing his fists together in a nervous habit, standing at my door. "Butters?"

Butters finally looked up and seemed surprised by my presence. "O-oh, Ken! Hello." He gave a small wave as if we just happened to meet on the sidewalk in the middle of town.

"What are you doing here?"

"I – um – my parents kicked me out of the house." I raised an eyebrow as Butters' explanation. I knew his parents were pretty crazy, but normally they liked to keep him inside the house. Most of the time, it was from being grounded. "They wanted to spend Valentine's Day alone." I nodded my head, understanding the situation, but another question quickly entered my head.

"That still doesn't answer why you're here." Butters and I had been friends for a long time, some would say we were even good friends, but rarely did we ever hang out with just each other.

"I don't know. You were the first person," his voice kept getting quieter as I noticed his cheeks were getting a nice shade of red. It wasn't that cold outside, was it? "that I thought of." I blinked at his confession, puzzled as to why he would think of me first. Normally, he would have gone to Cartman's first or to Dougie's, who he had been best friends with for a while. Even on Valentine's Day, I highly doubt either of them could find a date.

"What if I wasn't home? You do know it's Valentine's Day, right?" I had kept it a secret from the guys that I was dateless this year to save myself from the ridicule that always came from them when I was honest.

"I-I'm so sorry! I knew t-this was a b-bad idea!" I stared at Butters as his stuttering got worse. He had actually been improving his speech recently and only stuttered when he was worked up about something. I started to feel bad for the guy and I regretted being so harsh with him. He was already bullied by pretty much everyone, so the least I could do was be gentlemanly.

I stepped out of the way from the door and ushered Butters inside. "Sorry, I didn't mean that in a bad way. You can hang out here for a while if you need to." The other boy let out a small smile as he made his way inside. "I made some spaghetti, do you want some?" Butters nodded and I made my way to the kitchen. After grabbing another plate and piling them both up with the delicious noodles and sauce, I went back into the living room.

Butters was on his hands and knees, looking through a small box that held my games. I stood there for a few seconds, observing the smaller boy. Since he was turned away from me, I knew he didn't know I had returned, yet. Butters had an arch in his back as he leaned over to inspect another game case. Butters had a nicer backside that I would have imagined. It was round and bubbly, much cuter than most of the girls I had been with.

After realizing how creepy I was probably being, I decided to let myself be known. "What are you doing?" I asked as I placed our plates on the coffee table. Butters jumped slightly from my voice as if he just got caught doing something horrible.

"I-I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to be n-nosy!" He stumbled back to the couch, redness evident on his cheeks. I couldn't help, but to laugh, because he was the least nosy person I knew.

"It's no big deal," I reassured him, going towards the box myself. "Is there something you want to play?" I looked through the games, knowing that most of them were first person shooters.

"I thought the racing one seemed interesting," he answered quietly as if he might get scolded for his opinion. I grabbed the one racing game I had and showed it to him to make sure that's the one he was talking about. When he nodded his head, I inserted it into my console and sat back down with two controllers.

The next hour consisted of us messily eating and competitively racing each other. Butters was much better than I had thought and was even beating me during our last race.

"You have to be cheating! How did you even get ahead of me?" I asked loudly, knowing for a fact that he was just behind me a few second ago. Butters laughed as he sped up and away from me.

Frustrated, I tried to distract him by leaning in front of him, so he couldn't see the TV. Unfortunately, I was not the most graceful person and accidently leaned too far and fell into Butters' lap. This did seem to distract him, though, as he slowed down and I passed him, able to win by just a few seconds.

"Yes!" I yelled out, throwing my controller to the other side of the couch. I looked up, planning to boast to my competitor, but kept silent when I noticed how distraught he seemed.

At first, I was confused by his reaction, but then I remembered I was still lying on his lap. I rolled over, so I was completely lying on my back with my head still on Butters' thighs. I felt comfortable and even thought about taking a nap, but quickly banished that idea when the thought of teasing the other boy crossed my mind. I looked up to see that Butters had his eyes closed tight and his hands clenched to his side. He seemed to be trying to say something, but his words were just coming out as incoherent mumbles.

"Hey, are you okay?" I placed my hand on his cheek, trying to help him calm down or freak out more, I wasn't too sure. The smaller boy shook his head as if answering my question and trying to swap my hand away at the same time.

"Does this freak you out?" I asked. I had laid my head down on Kyle and Stan's laps before and I knew I never got this type of reaction. I, also, knew that Butters didn't have trouble with physical contact, because he was always hugging his friends and sometimes even holding hands with us. So, I was confused and curious as to why he was acting like he was about to explode any minute.

"I-I c-c-c," Butters tried to say as he started to hyperventilate. I quickly realized that this wasn't normal and I should probably do something, so I hurriedly got up and rushed to the kitchen for a paper bag. When I returned, I saw that Butters was in the fetal position and slightly rocking back and forth on the couch.

I went over to him as slow and calmly as I could, trying not to freak him out anymore. I handed him the bag, which he shakily took. For a few minutes, I sat quietly next to him while he tried to control his breathing. A couple of times, I started to reach over to lay my hand on his shoulder for comfort, but stopped myself, thinking it was probably for the best to keep to myself.

"S-sorry," Butters finally said after a full 15 minutes of silence. I looked over at him and saw that he was much calmer than earlier. He breathing was still a little haggard, but he was out of the fetal position and sitting normally.

"It's no problem. I should've moved as soon as I fell over," I tried to nonchalantly say as I put my feet on the coffee table. I needed to clean up the mess we had made with the spaghetti. The sauce had somehow been sprayed all over the table.

"N-no, it's my fault. I'm s-sorry." I raised an eyebrow in confusion as to how he even thought it was his fault.

"Of course it's not your fault!" I argued, not too sure as to why I was feeling angry. "I was teasing you and I should have backed off when I realized you weren't comfortable."

Butters seemed just as upset as I was. "I k-know you were t-teasing me! I shouldn't r-react like that from t-teasing!" I stared at him as a thought popped into my head. Everyone teased Butters at school, but this was probably the first time I had seen the other boy hyperventilate from it. Suddenly, I felt my stomach drop at the thought of Butters treating me differently. Why did it even bother me?

I continued to watch Butters as he calmed himself down. I had never noticed before, but the smaller boy was pretty cute and the thought of him having displeasing thoughts of me made me feel horrible. How do I even categorize these feelings?

"Butters…" I don't know why I whispered his name or why I leaned closer to him. I felt the need to, like my body was pulling me closer to the smaller boy. "Try not to freak out, okay?" I waited for him to nod before I placed my hand on his cheek, similar to how I did it before. I could feel the heat that was coming from the blush on his round cheeks. I could feel myself moving closer till our faces were only inches apart.

Butters seemed stunned by my actions and honestly, I was, too. I didn't know why I was doing this, but it felt more than just teasing him. "Ken, y-you should stop. I d-don't think you r-really wanna do this." He muttered, trying to lean his face away from mine.

"Why not?" I was surprised by my own breathlessness. Why was being this close to the blonde boy making me feel this disoriented.

"B-because, you might n-not like me a-anymore." I could feel Butters wince at his own comment. Was Butters really scared that I wouldn't like him anymore? He was the sweetest friend I had and I even though he did annoy me every once in a while, there was no way I could ever dislike him.

"That would never happen." Seeing Butters so flustered and panicked made something inside me want to comfort him. I softly glided my hand from his cheek to his chin and didn't miss the shudder that came from the other boy. I lightly guided his head to face me as I leaned over and pressed my lips to his. I felt Butters stiffen, but I didn't want to stop. I had never wanted to kiss someone as badly as I did this boy and I had never experienced a kiss that felt this good. A warmth pulled in my stomach as I deepened the kiss. Butters' lips felt soft against my chapped ones and I wanted to discover more about him. I slowly stuck my tongue out to lick the other's closed lips and I could taste a strawberry flavor.

I forced myself to pull back and make sure Butters was okay. The other boy seemed like a statue, because he was unmoving and stiff with his eyes wide from shock. I almost regretted my actions, thinking about how he freaked out from lying in his lap, but when I felt the tingling on my lips, all thoughts of regret vanished.

"Y-you can't j-just do th-that!" Butters suddenly exploded, tears streaming down his face. I moved to try comfort him, but Butters started kicking me to stay away. "I-I have l-liked you for s-such a long t-time, so you c-can't just d-do that!"

"Wait, what?" I yelled out before his sentence even fully developed in my brain. Did Butters just say he liked me?

"You c-can't just k-kiss me when y-you're fooling a-around! It's not f-fair!" Butters started to get up and I noticed how shaky he was. Did he really think I was just fooling around? I had certainly never kissed Kyle or anything from the group as a joke before and I never would.

"Wait!" I stood up to grab Butters' wrist, but in my haste, I stumbled and ended up tripping over the table. Everything swirled for a bit before I felt myself hit something softer than the floor. I moaned in pain as I opened my eyes to see Butters lying underneath me. "Shit, are you okay" I asked, trying to get up, but failing miserably as I was quickly losing control of myself.

I finally was able to get my weight off of the other boy as I hovered over him to make sure he was okay. Butters rubbed the back of his head as he looked back up at me. I could see in his eyes he was irritated, but it seemed to be more at himself than at me. "Listen to me for a minute, okay?" I didn't move from our position as I waited for Butters to show he was listening. He didn't do anything, though, except quietly watch me. I figured that was good enough. I tried to collect my thoughts, thinking of the best way to say what I wanted. The problem was I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted. "I wasn't fooling around," I started, making sure to keep eye contact with him, so he knew I wasn't lying. "I don't just kiss people randomly, okay? I felt…something, like I needed to kiss you. I know that sounds stupid, but that's how it felt to me! I've never felt that way for anyone before. Normally when I date girls, I just want to do it and move on." At this, Butters furrowed his brows and looked away. "But, that's not how I feel with this…whatever this is!" Butters continued to look at the front door as if he wanted to escape. I looked down and saw how white his knuckles were from clutching them. I moved my left hand to cover his right one and slowly caressed it till it relaxed. I unconsciously started to glide my fingers over his and intertwine them together. "I've never felt this satisfied and this peaceful just by being close." I looked back at Butters to see that he was looking at me. "I want to try _this_" I squeezed his hand to show what I meant and very lightly I felt him squeeze back. "I know that I like you, but I'm not sure how strong these feeling are or if this will work out, but if you're willing to try this out, I would be grateful." It felt like an eternity as Butters and I just stared at each other. I was afraid he would say no, since I didn't even know what exactly my feelings were for the other boy. If I was on his end, I would have probably been upset, especially if I had just confessed my feelings. If Butters said no, though, I knew I would be devastated.

Luckily, Butters was much kinder than I and he slowly nodded his head. I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face and I bent down to kiss him. I moved my free hand to his hair and was pleasantly surprised by how soft and poofy it was. I entangled my hand into his hair as I deepened the kiss. I accidently pulled Butters hair a little, which made him gasp. I took the advantage and stuck my tongue into the other's mouth, softly stroking the inside of it.

I felt Butters' hands move to my neck as he tried to pull myself to him. I granted his wish as I bent down a little lower till our chests were touching. Butters felt like a furnace by the heat that was emitting from his small body. At that moment, I felt we had too many clothes on. I removed my hand from his hair and glided over his body, letting it rest of his hips for a little bit. I put a couple of my fingers at the edge of his shirt, playing with the hem as I broke our kiss to breathe. I could have laughed at Butters' disapproving face at this, but he quickly grabbed my hair and forced me back down to his already swollen lips. I started to work on his shirt, pulling it over his torso and I would have had it completely off if it weren't for the cough that came from above us.

I quickly looked up, surprised by the sudden intruder. Karen McCormick, my little sister, was staring down at us with her eyebrow raised in question. I tried to hurry off of Butters, but I forgot our hands were intertwined and immediately fell down next to him. I swear I was being more klutzy than normal.

"Well, my Valentine's Day was pretty good," Karen explained as she started to walk towards the stairs. "I see yours was, too. I expect some answers later on." She pointed at me as if I was a child who just got caught with their hand in a cookie jar. Actually, that might be pretty accurate. "Mom and dad will be home soon, so I suggest you go somewhere else for now." At that, Karen winked at us and she practically skipped up the stairs. Man, my sister was weird.

"O-oh no!" I looked to my left to see Butters staring at the clock in horror. "I was supposed to be home, already!" He looked at the front door and then at me as if contemplating what to do. I smiled at him before sitting up.

"I don't want your parents killing you, so you can go home." Butters almost seemed disappointed by the answer. I ran my thumb over his hand. "We don't have to rush anything. I actually feel like I want to take the time with you and we can always continue later on." I gave him a reassuring smile and was happy when Butters smiled back.

We both stood up and I walked Butters to our front porch. "Do you want me to walk you home?" I asked, already feeling like a boyfriend, even though we never made our relationship clear.

"No, I think I need to clear my head before I get home." I nodded, knowing that I was going to need to take a calming shower before my folks came back. "Um, Ken?" I cocked my head to show I was listening. "Thank you."

I smiled and shook my head before I pulled the smaller boy closer and kissed him one more time. "No, thank you." I whispered against his lips as I felt the other smile. "Happy Valentine's Day."

"Happy Valentine's Day," Butters answered back before he pulled away from me. I watched him walk down my street till he disappeared. I felt like, for the first time, I had done something right on this special holiday.

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**Even though I rarely respond to comments/reviews (because I don't like the commenting system on this site), I still read them all and they make me very happy! So, thank you to all who have previously reviewed and those who will in the future. :) **

**Happy Valentine's Day! *Gives digital chocolates to everyone***


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